If You Met Us at the Border
5 Random Reasons It Is Hard to Share Lately
1. I have 84 drafts sitting in my queue in my blog.
Yes, you read that correctly. 84 unedited pieces of work. 84 separate ideas.
If you read my writing, you know I have 3 styles: 1. Poetry 2. Educational/How To/Advocacy 3. Creative Non-Fiction. Sometimes I struggle thinking I cannot “find my voice” in my writing, but I do believe I have. It is all 3 of those voices, just like most of us have in real life. It is the topic that tends to remain consistent–it is about the intense, over -the-top love I have for my child and the intense, over-the-top worry I have for him not because of who he is…but because of the world he lives in…even with, or in spite of me, his extra-human mom who sometimes needs silence, sleep, pre-children normalcy and sometimes just moments where I stare off into the void.
2. “Children do well if they can” –Ross Greene PhD (As a reminder…children grow into adults. Adults who do well if they can. Adults generally have greater levels of understanding as to how to access the “doing well” part depending on the function of their needs and the values they were raised with. Values which may be different than mine.
3. My children have a level of privilege and comfort that even to many, many standards in the US is considered luxury. We are still working class, but we were born into the jackpot of privilege for no other reason than chance. My parents are not college educated and I grew up in a single parent household for much of my single digit years. My father came to the US essentially as a refugee as a child. He came with a small handful of family because the rest were dead or missing. My husband grew up in a small town where his mom was the primary bread winner as a teacher. But we both have above average IQs, were loved, physically and environmentally safe and were raised to know we were supposed to go to college and have jobs. And the people around us were raised to just look at us and think the same thing.
4. My son is significantly disabled. Given he is 13 now, it is fair to say at this point that he will likely not live independently, drive a car, read, earn a full-time fair wage. To be clear, this is not “lack of hope”, this is reality based on his cognitive functioning and the environment which will only marginally accept him. We live in the top public schools in the state (actually, in the nation too). He plays basketball, baseball, bowling and golf in special needs leagues. He has access to medical specialists around the state to monitor his progress and needs. I fully believe he is alive and thriving because of access to local, state and federal funding for services/supplies that would be far out of reach for us as a working class family–and yet, still far less than he needs or deserves.
5. All of the above makes it very, very difficult for me to share about the present and future realities for my child who has needs and who always will have needs and dependency. In a time where regardless of politics, policy, law or any other justification posing as morality….please, please remember that this child at the border’s mother might have at one point had the opportunity to write the same 4 seemingly random ideas.
If nothing else…if desperate families from other countries can be made an example and sacrificed and divided, allowing the children to be made the pascal lambs for the “sake of the rest of us”, please don’t take for granted how our own use of resources for our children might be viewed in the same way in the near future. We also ultimately won’t fit the bigger picture.
What lengths would you go to for your own child? What risks might you take? Where would you go for them?
#autism #disability #love #parenting #HumanRights #WhatIfItWereYourChild #KeepFamiliesTogether
#ToTheEndsOfTheEarth #children #vulnerable #writer #blog